Finally, It’s settled in my heart. For you to understand what my issue is, let me give you a brief background of what I do and where I’m coming from. I grew up living a comfortable life. My parents were responsible and good provider to our family that they give us more than what we need, including our “wants” to ensure that we are able to live our lives to the fullest. After graduation, I worked in our family business as the managing director for ten busy and productive years. In between the ten busy years, I was able to established my own business in children apparel, able to make good profit and happy with what I’m earning. Then God led me to a new season in life. I closed my own business, I resigned from the family business and shifted to the non-profit world. ( How I wish to share with you blow by blow my journey in this… but it will take too much of your time ) It was not a drastic move, I should say. The decisions were made and sealed with much prayer, much reflection, much study and sacrifices.
During the first year of Right Start, ( the NGO I’m a part of ) it was life-changing for me. God was literally testing my faith and my character with regards to the issue of provision. My background in the business seems not be working too much in terms of assuring me that everything will be well provided as you operate and run your programs at Right Start. From thinking of “me”, it became “we”. I know I can handle to make my own sacrifices, but I can’t afford to make the organization go through the sacrifices. There were a lot of thoughts running in my mind by the mere fact that I know for a non-profit organization to be effective and to run, “funds” are crucial and needed. I have to think of 5, 10, 20, 30 years ahead — the challenge of sustaining, the challenge of making an impact. Above all these thoughts, one truth remains ; God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supply. I forgot who said that, but since I was young, that became one principle that I embraced and believed.
Every single day, I will wake up excited for I know I will be going through some of God’s appointed tests. There were even a lot of sleepless nights just thinking and imagining the future. Worry will sometimes attack me, that will lead me to do accounting, then back to worrying. It did not help at all. I will soak myself in the Word of God and His promises. Then God will remind me about His promises that I’m just joining Him, so I don’t have the license to worry. It’s His job to provide, not mine. No matter how good I may be in looking for resources or connecting with people, He is the provider.
I can remember till this day how my prayer goes everytime I pray for provision. I will plead with the Lord that He will make our accounts grow, He will send generous partners, He will bless our seed money, He will touch a giving heart and He will not allow me or we to be in lack. He knows my fears — fear of being in lack.
Last February 4, as we mark our second year in Right Start, God revealed to me His heart that changed me as it is written in
11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 18 My God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Now I get it, I need to be content. It’s a heart issue.
Come to think of it, there was never a time that Right Start was experiencing lack. God has been faithfully meeting our daily needs, our monthly needs that we even have so much room in sharing our resources with other groups or ministries. It is a sweet revelation that I will be facing plenty and I will be experiencing hunger in my journey BUT in any and every circumstance, the secret lies in being contented. God will supply not according to my list of donors or friends or generous givers, but He will supply “every need” according to HIS RICHES IN GLORY. Hey, my Heavenly Father is rich and He owns the universe! Above all these, He will enable me to do ALL THINGS THROUGH HIS STRENGTH.
If I can go back to my prayers and the way I worry…I will totally change it. My prayers were rooted from worry and fear of the unknown. His Word gives me the boldness to declare faith and to continually obey where He leads me for “He who begun a good work in me will be faithful to complete it…” — Philippians 1:6